I’ve been sitting here trying to wrap my head around the last 24 hours.

The racing community and our NBC Sports family has lost one of our own, Miss Jenny Nickell.

Jenny was a pioneer for women in the sport that we all love. She was a gentle, yet fearless leader that was never afraid to speak her mind when she had to. She had this calm way about her of just reassuring you that everything was going to be okay.

While it brings comfort to read so many wonderful stories about her, the tears continue to follow the laughter.

I just feel so fortunate to have worked with Jenny these last four seasons. While I will always wish for more time with her and a piece of our heart and racing family will be missing, I’m forever grateful for the time I got.

I will never forget the kindness Jenny showed me two years ago. I showed up at the track to work a race after losing an uncle to cancer that I was very close to. I can still remember Jenny walking up to me in the office trailer and giving me a long embrace. Of course the tears started flowing, but her voice comforted me in a way I will always be grateful for.

Fast forward to Pocono last year after Justin Wilson’s accident. Jen knew how Justin and I were close and shared that “Colorado Wilson” bond. We all got back to the hotel and sat around telling stories to bring comfort. She and I both cried over the unknown outcome and to this day, that was one of the only times I ever saw tears in her eyes.

Whenever I got an email from Jen, my face would light up with excitement and a smirk because I knew the note would be filled with some wit and love. Not only was she a producer for us (and a dang good one at that), but she often stepped in as a mother figure or sister to us all.

Yesterday, I decided to go through some of the emails I’ve received from Jenny to reminisce. I want to share with you all some of what they contained, so that you all can feel the same joy I had the first time reading them and even re-reading them again –

In November of last year while working the NASCAR race at Homestead, I had the opportunity to take a ride in the Goodyear blimp. I immediately got an email from Jen after she knew about it titled “The Blimp!!!!” She proceeded to tell me in the email that she got to hitch a ride in the blimp the 90’s in Indy with her sister Julie. She said it was a very windy day and it took them 45 minutes to putter from the airport to IMS. “But circling the track was a thrill!” Their pilot even let her drive for a few minutes, so she could officially say she drove the Goodyear blimp over Indy!

Then there was football season. Knowing what a huge Broncos fan I am, Jen emailed me in January and said “Ash – I don’t have orange or blue on but am rooting for your team big time. Loved the Cry Baby (Brady) Denver cakes – bet they sold out.” That gave me a good chuckle.

When the IndyCar season was about to start, some of us went to Phoenix for the IndyCar test. Jenny was sad she had to miss it and wanted us to fill her in on all the action. She wrote “We are FINALLY getting close to racing.” I love how much she loved being a racing fan.

Once I moved over to the NASCAR side a few weeks ago, I received an email from Jenny while in Daytona. It brought so much joy to my heart seeing her note that started with “Hi Sweetie – I miss you already! Hope you are settled in Daytona.” It meant so much to me that she would email just to check in. I ended up sending her a weekend update following that race, in which she replied to just two short weeks ago. She gave me some advice and added “I followed and am your best ally.” I’m going to miss that…

Not to mention, the countless emails a portion of our crew would receive when Jenny wanted to surprise one of our coworkers. There was the trip she and I made to Wal-Mart to shop for corny decorations and cake to accompany the “Ode to Gary Clem.” There was the “Ode to Hobbo” accompanied by a milk toast, or the surprise video she wanted to make for Kevin and Jon’s injured children. Each and every day, I know that Jenny’s main goal was to make us all feel loved and special. She was always putting the interests of others before her own. In fact, in her email planning Hobbo’s surprise, she ended it with “If I’m off my rocker, at least I try to continue to spread kindness and respect to all the crew that you do for us every show :).” You succeeded day in and day out, my friend.

I will miss the laugher, the car rides, that bright smile and those wonderful emails. I will miss hearing what a hunk Rick Mears is and how excited she would be to see A.J. at the track and sneak a kiss from him.

As I head to Indy this weekend for the Brickyard, I can’t help but think of Jen’s pure excitement for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. There is no doubt that her spirit will be with us all while we are there.

I feel like I have no more tears to cry and yet, I know they will continue to fall. I pray for peace and comfort for her family and thank them for letting us all feel like we were also a part of Jenny’s family. I am reminded of the saying “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Until we all meet again, our sweet Jenny.